Archive for category: Mental Health

As a parent, it’s common to experience stress, anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed at times.  But these challenges can get amplified for parents also managing a mental illness. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder before the birth of my children. I walked into parenthood knowing it would be just a little different than the experiences of some of my peers.

Understanding mental illness and its impact on parenting

Mental illness can affect all areas of life, including parenting. For some parents, depression or anxiety can make it challenging to find the energy and motivation to engage with their children.  Social anxiety may affect a parent’s ability to attend school events or engage in playdates, which may impact their child’s social development. However, mental illness can be managed. There are things a parent can do to support themself to reduce the impact on their children.

The stigma of mental illness

Unfortunately, the stigma surrounding mental illness can cause parents to feel ashamed, embarrassed, or guilty about their condition. It can lead to feelings of isolation or a reluctance to seek professional help.

As a parent with a mental illness, it’s important to recognize that you are not alone. One in five people will experience a mental health problem during their lives, and parents are not immune. It’s helpful to seek a support network of fellow parents or mental health professionals who can offer guidance and understanding.

Coping strategies for parents with mental illness

One of the most important things parents can do is to develop coping strategies that work for them. This may include seeking therapy, practicing mindfulness, or finding healthy ways to manage stress.

It’s also important for parents to be honest with themselves about their limitations and to communicate those limitations with their children and partner. For example, a parent with bipolar disorder may need to temporarily take a step back from parenting responsibilities during intense mood swings. My partner has had to step up many times while I took care of myself.

Balancing self-care and parenting responsibilities

It’s easy for parents to neglect their self-care in favor of their children’s needs. It becomes even harder when you’re managing your mental health on top of it all. However, it’s important to remember that caring for yourself is essential to being a good parent.

This may mean setting aside time for exercise, meditation, or other self-care activities. Self-care looks different for everyone. It may also mean enlisting the help of friends, family members, or professional caregivers to provide support when you need it.

Talking to children about mental illness

As children grow older, they may become curious about their parent’s mental health. It’s important for parents to have open and honest conversations with their children about mental illness and to provide age-appropriate explanations of their condition. My own children were naturally curious about the medications I take every day. When they were younger, I explained that I had a “buzzing brain” that needed medicine, and as they’ve aged, we’ve had more in-depth conversations about my bipolar disorder and ADHD.

Talking to children about mental health can help children develop empathy and understanding for their parent’s struggles. It can also help them learn to communicate effectively about mental health in their own lives. Some illnesses have a genetic component, so it’s helpful for children to recognize the symptoms in themselves so they can reach out for support if the time comes.

The importance of seeking professional help and support

One of the most important things parents with a mental health condition can do is seek professional help and support. This may include therapy, medication, or support groups for parents with mental illness and their partners.

It’s important to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. When I first began my parenting journey, I felt horrible about needing support and medication, but my partner helped to put things into perspective for me. I wouldn’t think twice about taking medication for a physical ailment, so why did I see this differently? By taking steps to care for your mental health, you’re setting a positive example for your children and helping to break down the stigma surrounding mental illness.

Embracing your journey

Parenting with a mental health condition can be a challenging journey but also an opportunity for growth and resilience. Parents with mental illness can provide a loving and stable home for their children by developing coping strategies, seeking support, and prioritizing self-care. Being a parent with a mental illness does not automatically mean your children will have an unhappy or unstable home life.

Remember, you are not alone. There are millions of parents around the world who are navigating this journey alongside you. By sharing your experiences and seeking support, you can overcome parenting challenges with a mental health condition and embrace the joys of parenthood.

 

Originally posted on www.mentalhealthcommission.ca

If you’ve been struggling with addiction to alcohol, you may not know what steps to take to acknowledge and deal with the problem. In many cases, people take their first steps toward recovery when a loved one stages an intervention for them.

What do you do, though, if you realize you need to make a big change and no one is stepping forward to push you into action? You already took one of the hardest steps: recognizing that you need help. You’re now in a position to stage your own intervention, in essence. You can create your own plan for intervention and recovery, setting yourself on the journey to sobriety and to regaining your life again.

Keep reading to learn why a self-intervention may be the right step and what steps you can take to get the help you need and turn your life around.

Why Do You Need Intervention?

When you reached a point where things in your life are going wrong because of alcohol addiction, it may be time for an intervention. Often families or friends will stage a professional intervention to try to overcome their loved one’s resistance to treatment. Typically they do this when they’ve seen over time that their loved one isn’t going to get the professional help they need or if their loved one continues to deny that they even have any kind of problem with alcohol.

If you’re aware of the problems that your relationship with alcohol is causing, you may be strong enough to reach out for help yourself. Perhaps you lost your job because you called out sick one too many times, and the shock made you realize the hold alcohol has over your life. You may have gotten into a DUI or been arrested for behaviour while you were drinking. Maybe you’ve caused real damage to yourself or to people you love, and you suddenly realized you’ll do anything to prevent that from happening again.

Some people realize they need an intervention when they come off a bout of binge drinking and understand that they’re just not capable of staying sober for more than a day or two on their own. Perhaps your drinking is causing financial problems on top of everything else. You may just have gotten tired of trying to explain away your drinking to get your family and friends to leave you alone.

You may even have arrived at the realization that it’s time for a big change because you’ve hit a wall in terms of your mental health. Studies show that half of the people with a substance abuse disorder also experience clinical depression — and on the flip side of the statistics, about half of people with depression also have a substance abuse disorder. For many, treatment of mental health issues and alcoholism are intricately linked, and dealing with one can lead you to confront the other problem as well.

However you arrive at the understanding that you need an intervention, you should know that reaching out for help is the best possible choice. If you’re walking yourself through your own self-intervention, there are seven major steps that can help you on the journey to recovery and success.

1. Willingness

One of the most important factors in long-term recovery is your willingness to seek sobriety. You have to be willing to ask for help, to face the complexity of the road to recovery and meet the challenges you’ll find along the way. Willingness is part of a life-long commitment to sobriety.

Willingness comes when you enter rehab for yourself. Truly wanting to become a better person is a stronger motivation than trying to get your friends and family off your back or to please them so they don’t leave you. If you attempt long-term sobriety because someone, such as a court or a loved one, forces you to do so, you may not come to recovery with the key factor of willingness.

Having a support system around you helps you develop the willingness needed for successful recovery, whether your support comes from friends and family or the haven that a recovery program can provide. As you recuperate surrounded by help, you’re able to recognize areas in which you’ve been in denial, realize that you have a problem, and reach the acceptance you need help to solve that problem.

2. Research

The next step toward your self-intervention involves research. When you understand the stages of addiction, you’re better prepared to assess your own situation realistically and determine what type of help will be most beneficial. Many studies have been done about everything from the effects of alcohol on your brain and your behaviour to the role of willpower in your recovery. As you gather information and learn the facts about addiction stages and the recovery process, you’re better prepared for what lies ahead.

3. Understanding

Through your research, you’ll come to understand alcoholism and alcohol use disorder in a new way. Alcohol abuse describes a pattern in which people become dependent on alcohol and unable to control their drinking. Dependence on alcohol brings with it an increased tolerance for alcohol, meaning you have to drink more to experience the same desired effects. It also results in withdrawal symptoms when you stop drinking. Withdrawal symptoms often include nausea, tremors, irritability, and sweating, as well as hallucinations and seizures in the more extreme stages.

Alcohol use disorder is technically considered a disorder of the brain. It produces long-lasting changes to the brain and the central nervous system. While alcohol addiction is not solely caused by genetic factors, a family history of alcohol issues can play a role in your own use of addictive substances. In addition, many people with a history of childhood trauma or various mental health conditions, including PTSD, ADHD, and depression, have an increased danger of alcohol use disorder. Of course, social factors such as peer pressure also play a role, as do environmental factors.

4. A Plan

The key to planning a successful alcohol intervention for yourself is creating a working plan with clear steps that will lead you into treatment and recovery. You can initiate this plan by talking with an addiction professional or mental health therapist who has experience with the stages of recovery. You can also start the process by creating a plan on your own, though you’ll want to reach out to professionals in the early stages.

Your plan should include determining whether you’ll need inpatient or outpatient treatment. Research the options available to you, and figure out which will best address your issues. Your options may include detox, behaviour modification therapy, medications, and support groups. Set deadlines for yourself at every stage of your plan to make sure you actually follow through as you arrange your treatment.

5. Support

It’s not a secret to your friends and family that you’re having a problem with alcohol. Your friends have watched your struggle. You may have had confrontations with them in the past — and maybe you’ve come to realize those difficult moments were actually statements of their love for you. And now that you’ve decided to seek help, they’re ready to support you. In fact, support from family and friends can be a vital element in a successful recovery, so don’t close the door to their help.

Even if you’ve decided to create your own self-intervention, think of your friends and family as your personal intervention team. You will need them through the difficult process of treatment and recovery. Ask them for specific help that might make your treatment easier or even possible. For example, friends and family may be willing to drive you to counselling or treatment sessions, or they might help out with child care. Because alcohol addiction often involves everyone in a family, you may find your family members eager to go to family counselling together to help you through this.

Friends and family can also support you emotionally during treatment and recovery. They can provide rational reminders to keep you on the right path, and they can encourage you to follow through with the plans you’ve made when your own willpower starts to flag.

6. Professional Help

Successful recovery from alcohol addiction typically requires professional help. Even after you’ve completed detox, if necessary, professional counselling can help you avoid relapse. Therapy will help you learn to deal with cravings and triggers that tempt you to start drinking again. It also helps you learn to cope with the stresses of life without leaning on alcohol.

You can choose from several different types of therapy when seeking professional help. All types of counselling are helpful to different people, and an addiction specialist can help you determine which treatment plan is right for you. Among the types of therapy you might consider are the following:

• Group therapy: Within a group of your peers, you can get both the support and challenge you need during rehab and recovery.
• 12-step programs: Alcoholics Anonymous pioneered this peer-support network that helps those with alcohol addiction to abstain from alcohol. Other versions, such as Celebrate Recovery and SMART Recovery, have sprung up in their wake.
• Residential treatment: When you move into a residential treatment center, you’re automatically separated from all the people and triggers that encourage your alcohol use. Residential treatment has a high success rate, sometimes covered by medical insurance.
• Family therapy: Because alcohol addiction affects the entire family, often the whole family thrives by seeking counselling together — and you may be more likely to stick with the therapy when your family’s involved.
• Outpatient treatment: Intensive outpatient treatment can provide many of the same types of therapists and techniques as residential treatment, but it allows you to live at home and in some cases to continue with work or school.
• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: CBT, as it’s often called, gives you tools to manage your thought life and your emotional reactions. Cognitive behavioural therapists will teach you how to avoid triggers and encourage healthy thoughts.
• Dialectical Behavioural Therapy: This type of therapy, also known as DBT, focuses on changing unhealthy behaviours, such as alcohol abuse, and encouraging healthy behaviours.

Consider Rehab as an Option for Treatment

Many people with alcohol addiction need to start their treatment with rehab. A rehab program keeps you safe while you undergo the withdrawal symptoms that typically occur when you stop drinking. You’re protected if you should experience hallucinations or seizures, and you have access to the continued help you need to get through detox.

When you embark on evidence-based rehab, you have access to experts who can help you with medication management, medical detox, and mental health therapy, including CBT and DBT. A well-designed rehab program also offers group and individual therapy, acting as a community to help you get and stay sober. A program that features a holistic approach also offers exercise and mindfulness to support your physical health and well-being.

In addition, your rehab program will incorporate family support, offering education and therapy so family members can continue to support you. As you move into recovery, the addiction specialists help with relapse management and aftercare, providing continued therapy and help as needed.

 

Originally posted on www.edgewoodhealthnetwork.com

Resiliency is close to the heart of what is needed to get sober and to stay sober. And Shawn C., an alum of EHN Canada’s Bellwood Treatment Centre, knows a thing or two about resiliency.

He learned a lot about along the bumpy life path leading to the centre in Toronto’s Sunnybrook area. He is learning even more about it since he left.

It has not even been a year since Shawn woke up, or came to, at Bellwood. The previous years had been harsh, from childhood on, in and out of recovery. One step forward. Slipping down rungs and staggering backwards a bunch more. Bellwood was his line in the sand.

Over nine months later, he is still on track. Pushing forward, helping others, helping himself.

Family plays a big part in getting him to seek help

Shawn came to Bellwood last summer during the COVID pandemic’s dog days. It was his second formal attempt at treatment. Eleven years earlier, in his late 20s, he had been persuaded by his family to give it a shot after a near-fatal decision.

“I tried to pump the exhaust into the truck and go to sleep. The neighbour came home and caught me. I was passed out and they dragged me out, mouth-to-mouthed me, called the ambulance, and I was gone to the hospital,”  he recalls.

“At the hospital, I was woken up and the whole family is there, just bawling. I said alright, I will get clean. I had never thought of it before, didn’t want to do it and it was never even considered or on the table. But I went right into a treatment centre.”

Today, he knows he wasn’t ready, and wasn’t doing it for the right reasons. He lasted barely three weeks, broke some hard and fast rules, and found himself back in the throes of the helplessness that is substance use disorder.

It was a place he was familiar with. Raised in rural Southern Ontario, in part by loving grandparents, and in part by a father unable to provide stability and nurturing he needed, he turned to substances early and often. As a young teen, he was soon involved in using substances to gain acceptance in his peer groups. He was dealing drugs, getting into fights, and building a reputation in his community and law enforcement. He dropped out of high school after Grade 9. Through it all was alcohol.

“Alcohol is my best friend. Still my best friend. I just haven’t talked to it in a while,” he says today.

Spiralling out of control

His spiral post-treatment was epic, something he recalls as what he terms his “highlight reel.” Pot had begat chemicals, which begat cocaine and crack cocaine, and eventually, opiates, opioids, Fentanyl, and heroin.

“I am a construction worker, so you know how I drink – it is either we are drinking beers after work or hitting whiskey on the weekend, right? In the end, I had to have a cocktail. I needed so much dope so I could be good on the cocaine. But I needed so much down so I could keep it level. Then I needed the right amount of hard spirits, like whiskey or tequila or something to get me up to that level. But then I would need enough beer to carry it through the night. There was always cocktail by then.”

Shawn did learn one key staple by going to treatment. That old saying in recovery circles – that mutual support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous will mess up your drinking and drugging plans – proved true in his case.

Recovery seeds are planted

“It is my belief that once the seed is planted, it is planted. Once you go into the rooms … once you get a bit of that Big Book in you, I believe thoroughly that you will never use right again ever. You are never, ever going to have a good time again. You have to get sober because it is in your head. It is planted. You know it is wrong.”

So, he began appearing at meetings again in his early 30s. Collecting a month of abstinence here, a month there. He fell in love and had a daughter. His lifestyle wasn’t conducive to maintaining sobriety, so that relationship didn’t last. He fell in love again, hard. For the next seven years, they both tried to stay sober but were in and out. When they were in recovery, things went swimmingly. They both worked their programs, volunteered at shelters, and helped make their community a better place. Their love story was passionate, but their recovery was bumpy, and tenuous.

Last spring, the last relapse ended her life. Families were shattered. Sober nearly two years, Shawn couldn’t keep handling the grief and went down hard one more time.

“I stayed out seven to 10 days then I showed up at work covered in blood and stinking of booze. They said ‘You are going to treatment, buddy.’”

A new beginning at the end of the road

In July of 2022, a month after his partner’s passing, he ended up at Bellwood. As messed up emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as he could be, “I was willing to give it a shot for everybody that got me there.”

“I will never make it through this one without crying,” he says shaking his head. “I was willing to give it a shot because I could feel her. She was everywhere and I could feel it. I knew it was what she would want.”

He has been sober since.

His Bellwood stay lasted 48 days. It was there he finally put the sack of rocks that he had been carrying throughout the traumatic and difficult years of his childhood, the scary and perilous years of his substance use. He faced his past and his present and began the ongoing process of grief.

Connecting with compassionate people

Shawn has a stack of rich memories of people who helped keep him accountable at Bellwood.

“When I went into Bellwood, they greeted me with the most beautiful girl right at the door that you could ever imagine. I don’t just mean looks. Her aura. Her presence. She was just wonderful. And so was the second one. They just made you feel good,” he says, almost shyly.

With COVID still raising havoc across the province, “I went upstairs (into isolation) for a few days. I am ADHD so that was not good. They said you can have a guitar, so they went downstairs and brought me up a guitar. They brought me up some weights to work out. I didn’t even end up being three days and I was down in a room with a couple of the boys, and I was on my way.”

He began attending various classes and lectures on the truth of substance use issues, the evidence-based solutions that can be applied to combat it.

“I started listening in classes. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, Trauma Therapy, concepts like “Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired – I was just taking it all in,” he says with a smile.

Mostly there was the importance of connecting with others as a means of getting through without relapsing, especially in those early days, weeks, and months.

“They were trying to help me along. I wouldn’t ask for help, right? Too much pride and ego. But they kept on me. There were a couple of counselors, they weren’t my counselors, but they took me on for whatever reason. One of them, Joanne … took the time to say ‘Shawn – unclench your jaw,’ while just walking by through the hall. ‘Shawn. Take a deep breath. You’re not breathing.’ I’d take that deep breath.”

The grief work was difficult and remains so, though not in the same vein as it was in the early days.

“I did not know how to cry yet. It would get so bad that it physically hurt. Then I would have to go punch a tree or hurt myself, not cutting or that, but I had to physically hurt myself to get it going (crying) and then it would release, right?”

It is just nine months later. Today he is rebuilding, working hard, playing hard. Grieving hard. Becoming the person he always wanted to be.

Gratitude & Resiliency

As spring break offers its annual hope of warmer, softer times following another cold harsh winter, Shawn is playing in the snow with a couple of kids out in the hills around Barrie, Ont. His eight-year-old daughter is laughing, his late partner’s son is also having fun. Sure, it is not necessarily the ideal situation, as his daughter lives seven hours round trip away, while the boy resides on the other side of town with his grandparents.

But just for today the threesome is in the moment of gratitude and joy. Giggles, snowballs and dunks in the white banks, rosy, red cheeks, and bright white teeth. Recovery.

The resiliency is growing.

He picked a sponsor he fondly refers to as Ned Kelly, for his straight up approach. He drives newcomers to meetings, takes their phone calls, takes them through the Big Book, the same one that messed up his drinking. He works hard as a carpenter on the Go Line transit system to Barrie, and he lives with a pair of close friends with several years in recovery. Mostly, he remains grateful for Bellwood.

“How do I say it? Everything that was supposed to happen in there happened. You’ve just got to be ready for it and open. They gave me everything I needed, as much as it drove me nuts and I drove them nuts,” he says with a smile.

“I am still connected to 35 or 40 people that I was in there with. We talk to one another, we put each other together, we say go check on that person because we are in different towns, cities, and provinces.”

He knows in his heart he is sober because of the people who had faith in him, the ones who remain, the ones who have passed.

“I wouldn’t have made it and there are so many people that don’t have it,” he says quietly.

If connection is the opposite of addiction, as many do believe, then Shawn is doing his part, staying in the solution. Showing his resiliency.

“I try to connect with everybody I can, and whether I will be able to help somebody through you, this story, or whatever, it is all good. I’ve still got lots of work to do.”

Originally posted on www.edgewoodhealthnetwork.com

There is a misconception that being mentally healthy means being happy all the time. The expressions are well-known: keep your chin up, or your upper lip stiff. Who hasn’t heard the advice: when life hands you lemons, make lemonade?

We’re here to suggest that you keep your chin where it is and do whatever you want with the lemons in your life. Good mental health comes from feeling a full range of emotions, comfortable and uncomfortable, “positive” and “negative”. Let’s not reinforce the unhealthy notion that adversity should be met with a smile. That might just be taking us down the wrong road. Let’s break it down.

There are many benefits of a positive outlook on life and seeing the glass as half full. A positive attitude can help you cope better with stress, build resiliency and even improve your immune system.¹ Positive thinking plays an important role in positive psychology, a branch of psychology that focuses on what makes people thrive ², but that doesn’t mean that everything should always be seen through a rose-coloured lens.

Toxic positivity is being positive at all costs. It is the mindset that even when faced with hardship, people should always maintain a positive attitude. While toxic positivity is often shared with the best intentions, it lacks compassion and can shut down opportunities for connection. Toxic positivity can exist in your own self-talk as well as when connecting with others.

Here are some signs that positivity has turned toxic:

• You dismiss or brush off feelings that aren’t “positive”
• You feel guilt or shame for experiencing “negative” emotions
• You’re avoiding or hiding from uncomfortable feelings
• You only focus on the positive aspects of a painful situation

Another face of toxic positivity is what could be called compulsory happiness. It is the expectation that we be cheerful and upbeat regardless of what we’re really feeling. It’s the idea that showing up with a smile is polite, and that your personal hardships and difficult feelings should be kept to yourself.

Many of us have learned to swallow feelings of sadness, fear and anger. To keep calm and carry on. But when it comes to emotions, here are four good reasons to name it, not numb it:

1. Suppressing unpleasant feelings can lead to poor mental and physical health

When you ignore an uncomfortable feeling, it doesn’t just disappear into thin air. It might just build up beneath the surface and increase stress.

In fact, studies show that suppressing emotions can lead to increased anxiety and depression, disrupted sleep, and overall worsening of mental health.³

Suppressing uncomfortable emotions might feel like the easiest way forward, but it can actually make them last longer. By accepting the discomfort and understanding your feelings, you can begin to work through the stressors and heal from them.

2. Blind optimism can actually be dangerous

Emotions aren’t just things that happen to us. They are sent from our body and mind to deliver important information. It’s how we understand and evaluate life’s events. Feelings of fear, sadness and anger might not be the easiest feelings to experience, but they exist to guide us. By always looking on the bright side, we block out useful information that can help us navigate life.⁴

Yes, optimism can give us hope, but blind optimism can be problematic.

Take studying for a big test as an example. Being optimistic about the outcome is bound to relieve stress and help you focus on the test. But hoping for great results without studying or understanding the material will set you up for failure.

It’s not to say that everyone should live their life seeing the glass as half empty, but avoiding unpleasant emotions at all costs doesn’t do us any favours.

3. Pain is part of the human experience

It may not always be comfortable, but most of us have experienced grief, frustration, sorrow and danger, as well as the more pleasant emotions. It’s healthy to experience a range of emotions. In fact, it’s an important part of the human experience. It’s natural to feel grief when experiencing a loss, and it’s natural to feel frustrated after weeks and months of pandemic lockdown. As human beings, it’s near impossible to avoid unpleasant emotions Life is full of ups and downs, bumps in the road and obstacles to overcome.

Feelings of sadness, fear and anger are necessary to truly connect with one another. We simply cannot empathize and fully support others if we shy away from anything but happiness.

Uncomfortable feelings help us make sense of life events. Emotions guide us in decision making, help us develop empathy, and above all else, emotions are simply necessary for survival. Fear helps us avoid dangerous situations, anger can help us confront the uncomfortable, and grief can help us see what’s most important to us.

Even emotions that are sometimes referred to as “negative” are incredibly important to living a healthy life. They encourage self-reflection and can even be a catalyst for social change.

4. Compulsory happiness upholds oppression

If everyone is looking on the bright side, nobody is raising concerns about racism, misogyny, homophobia, or other social injustices. The quest for social justice can be powered by anger, fear and discomfort. After all, if everyone were happy all the time, nobody would feel motivated to make positive changes in the system.

By asking people to smile through the pain of discrimination and oppression, we are also asking them to ignore the injustices they face. If we want to promote positive change, we must create space in our society for anger, grief, fear and pain in general.

 

Originally posted on www.cmha.ca